The Sensitive Guy

From the beginning of time men have been perceived as "the rock", "the provider", "the foundation that holds every house hold together". They are strong minded, and their greatest fear is to ever be perceived as "weak". Women love a strong man, truth be told we like to be rough handled every now and then but the question is can we still love a man who carries emotional baggage? Can we really handle a sensitive man?

I'm sure by now you know every person you come across has their own sets of problems. Whether they be emotional, social, financial, physical, whatever, we all have problems. Some men deal with it pretty well. These are the men that you wouldn't even know that deep underneath that beautiful molding of a body is pain & agony. Pain & agony that they have been hiding for many years. Then there are some that wear their pain as a badge of honor. Let it be known to everyone who they come across that they too have problems and is still unable to cope with them.

Being a female, we are natural nurturers. We listen to them and try to solve whatever problems they go through. But truth be told after a while this becomes overbearing. His negative outlook an life is a burden, constantly pulling a gray cloud over your bright and sunny day. Sure we want a guy that can express his feels, and not just be an emotionless boulder. But where do we cross the line between a sensitive guy and a guy that just needs to grow a set of balls and just accept life for what it is?

How to move on from Mr. & Ms. "I thought" was right

It feels good to be in a relationship where you feel that trust isn't an issue. Love is in abundance and you can see yourself with this person for the rest of your life. He/She is always there, so much in common, the list goes on and on. But what happens when Mr. & Ms. Right shows they're true colors, and they're no longer the great person they seemed to be? How do you move on? How do you live life after being with them so long? Well her are a few steps in taking the next big move on in your life.

1. Who's fault is it really?
Sometimes we beat ourselves up a little too much when its not even our fault. Try to figure out what went wrong. Was it really all his fault, was it really all your fault. Take blame for things you know you are responsible and try to come to terms with them. It will help you in your future relationships so the same mistake won't ever happen again.

2. Recall the warning signs
What made you realize that Mr./Ms. Right was right after all? This will help you figure out things that you ignored. When you are out of a relationship, you instantly become aware of all the flaws one had. Now that love has released its blindfold you can see all the things that had big red flags marking it saying things like "Come on man, she parties and drinks way too much!" "Girl you know damn well he's not staying late after work." or "Damn he/she has way too many 'guy' or 'girl' friends to hang with".

3. Forgive yourself
It's not all your fault so don't go head and punish yourself by saying "I'm never going to talk to another guy for the rest of my life." or "I'm going to be celibate for the rest of my life." or "I'm never going to love again." I mean seriously, who the hell is that going to help? Mr. or Ms "I can take away all your pain away" is sitting right in front of you and your going to let that one person mess it all up for you? Get real!

4. Moving on to another steps I, II & III.

I. No one will replace them. So quit trying... the memories will always be there, so quit trying to find someone to replace and find someone to erase them. Stop trying to look for someone with similar features, face it, no matter what it won't be the same. So if she doesn't smile like she does, if he doesn't cook as good as he does, or rubs your feet the way he does. Stop punishing other people for it! Your just messing up your chances. Mr. or Ms. "I thought" was right may have given you the best foot massage you ever received but Mr. or Ms. "I can take your pain away" got lips of a God! lol

II. So they made some mistakes. That does not mean everyone else will. So give him a shot, learn to trust again. Don't close your heart... You deserve love so go out there and get it!

III. Regain confidence lost. Because without confidence, then what are we? What you thought was love was mere familiarity. You been with them for years so you think "Damn, how am I going to move on and I've spent so much of my life with them. No, your strong, you will be okay, and so will they. So throw on them heels girl, and put on that suit child! Take the world head on, you'll be just fine. Life is too short to be sitting there moping about what should have been done, and could have been done. =]

Lately

Lately, as hard as it is to find a job..is as hard as it is to find someone. Never knew it was so much work. I do realize that right now I'm so focused. My future is so so close right now I can feel it. Trying to keep my grades up, college next year. OMG! Never had I been so eager to accept responsibility. I'm trying to get my life in order. So senior year, it's go be all about me (I wish). Only thing that's pissing me off is the fact that I can't find a dude! I have my fair share of options, complain to myself that I don't need one. Hah BULL SHIT. As I get them I lose them, then replace them, then do it all over again. This is me, just me taking on my small part of the world. So I be honest, maintain a "take me as I am" mentality. Just seems like boys now-a-days can't respect that, can't handle the full blooded truth. So what do I do?

Romance with me & the signs

One of the many questions that is mandatory in getting to know someone, you know... name, age, where you from... blase blase. One of the necessary questions is, hey what's your sign. Some people don't believe in it, the stars, that they predict your future, it is witchcraft so on. But I do, I believe it is true. I am a Cancer, so I'm a homebody, love my house, comfort, super sensitive, need to be loved, kind & affectionate. That's just me, now tell me why my sign personality describes me as the same way? Hmmm maybe I'm just a lucky individual, nope, maybe it's real.
So I've been with a couple signs in my lifetime, talked to a couple, but not all. This is basically a summary of those that I have been with it and the similar personality traits they have. I'm telling you, you need to start believing if you don't.

Virgo -
For some reason I'm so attracted to Virgos. They are the bad boys, the always in trouble type. Kinda on the mean side, but easily manipulated by me. In a good way though. They always got a lot going on in their life, looking for a way out. With this sign I know exactly what I need to be, a shoulder to lean...discuss their problems, prove to them that all girls are not the same. With them you got to listen, no need to speak, all they need is the comfort of knowing you on the other end of the phone, the bed, the chair....listening.

Cancers -
Oh I hate cancer boys, lol! Too similar, we are both hard headed and so stubborn. Who's right, I'm right? At first it is like perfection manifested itself in human form. Oh I'm in LOVE, give it about 2 months, and the fighting replaced all the love that was in the relationship before. Yes we are both equally emotional, and smother each other with love. But when sensitive meets sensitive, just too much strong emotions there, it can turn into hate way too easily. There is a thin line between the two, you know that right. So cancers, I'll leave it to a friendship level, which is hard because we catch feelings so easily, but yea. That's all Ima be with a Cancer, friends.

Scorpios -
Conceited ass sign, they know they look good, but boy do they like to rub it in. Scorpios & me, so not go very well. Sure we bond, for a short time, but trust, its not going to last. We just both have different intentions. Their mind is always on sex, while mine is in a hundred different places.

Pisces -
The most confusing sign yet! Pisces men are hard to understand, they do things for different reasons. What I do know is that they can be very annoying to me, do things that they know i don't like just to get under my skin. Like play extremely loud music when I'm on the phone, take my stuff. Tickle me till I can't breathe, Pull my hair! Y'all just play too much sometimes!

Aquarius -
Aquariuses are one of my favorite signs. Especially relationship wise. To me, they are very sensitive..when they fall in love they fall hard. They don't argue much, and try to avoid argument as much as possible. They love conversation and I can spend hours talking to them about everything to nothing. Very calm sign, can be a very passionate and sexual person when they want to be and are very open minded.

Taurus -
Y'all are suppose to be a Cancer's perfect match. I mean I ain't go lie, I have a ex and he is a Taurus and I fell in love with him every time I talked back to him. It's kinda sad actually, but yea, he was perfect. Y'all calm, we can go hours talking, conversation is butter. Y'all kinda a homebody like me, we could block out the world and just act like its just us too. I love it... y'all the best game spitters, could have a girl like me in love quick! But just cause your a nigga, and niggas are simple, its real easy to tell when I'm not the only one in your life.

Capricorns -
The opposite sign of a Cancer, I don't come across you guys much, because we just don't attract each other. Very hard in expressing your feelings. Could go months talking to you, not even know you have the slightest feelings for me. Capricorns are not big on emotions, but i do know when you fall in love, it usually last.

Leos -
Leos are big on looks. I know if I rock with a Leo i have to look my best. Y'all can dress your ass off but we not much of a match I guess. Very ambitious dudes, y'll stay focused & goal oriented but... sometimes you let your job just get in the way of you living your life. Most likely we won't talk much because of this, and therefore we just are going to fall apart. I have horrible luck with Leos because of their short attention spans. For some reason we don't understand each other. Our signs just don't click.

Libras -
Libras and i tend to always fall in the same pattern, I'm always the victim! They are not big on feelings especially for a sensitive sign like me. I always end up being the one hurt. They love to argue especially over dominance, so I tend to stay away from Libras as much as possible.

Sagittarius -
Very outgoing sign. One thing about you guys is that you are sneaky! Y'all may seem all quiet and nice at first, but when I get to know you guys its more to what it seems. Y'all heart is through your stomach, love to eat, love to sleep. I don't know how relationships end with y'all but I'm bout to find out lol.

My Pet Peeves

Everyone got these certain things that just, irk the shit outta them, mine....i don't know if they are extreme, or maybe just a little wierd, but here they are:

1. Hair - if its not on your head, then shave it off, its not necessary!
2. Bumps - instant turn off if its on your back.
3. Cracking knuckles - the sound provokes an immediate gag reflex.
4. Patting your weaves - sound like you trying to relocate your brain, and break your skull. No ladies, just take it out!!
5. Smoking - you will get through life easier, if you just tell me you don't smoke, because I'm going to constantly talk about quitting
6. Loud - people, so pointless especially when I'm right next to your ass, just please stop
7. Stank People - take a bath, not that hard, deodorant is easily purchased at a local dollar store.
8. Sharing drinks - I'll kill you, just don't even try it.
9. My lip gloss - use it, and most likely as soon as you're done with it, I will toss it in the trash. I don't know you like that guh!
10. Fake people - don't be all up on shequanda one min and as she turn her back you be like Psst! Aye Toya, girl you aint go believe this! I'll expose your ass, just tell home girl you don't like her. Stop pretending, cause karma is alot worst.
11. Niggas - nothings turns me off more than nigga! Which is defined as a ignorant person who doesn't know how to act, whether you black white or asian, act stupid, you're a nigga.
12. Game spitters - back in the day it was, "Aye mami, you looking good, what you said you let me get them digits so we can talk, yada yaa" now a days its like "Aye redbone....shawty...bitch, when you go come over so we can FUCK!" WTF! Niggas done lost they riteous minds. That shit isn't attractive! Its never works for your lil dickass virgin minds, so why the fuck you keep saying it! Time to switch the game up niggas...its getting old.
13. Boys who let sex run their lives - you ever been somewhere and there's this dude somewhere talking loud as hell about some girl he fucked, or sum girl who he gave head to. And he talks about it like he's the luckiest man alive, boasts about it. Basically he's a man hoe. That just kill me, such a turn off. If a dude gets mad at me & says that's it, you aint getting none me tonight, you my type of nigga. If you can go without it, without later begging and pleading, then you my type.
14. Conceited People - You are not God's greatest gift to earth. You define you by all means, but be like me. Be conceited in your head, like damn I'm banging! I would so fuck myself if I was a dude. But you will never hear me say that ish out loud. I keep it to myself
    

November 28 "Love Advice"

Day after thanksgiving. Didn't celebrate, but i sure did enjoy a sexy ass turkey lol. Today I had an interesting conversation with a girl my age. Very pretty girl, not quite average, pretty decent. So she had an issue with her boyfriend and seeked advice. So i kindly gave her a lil slice of my knowledge, after all I have experienced quite alot with relationships in all my sixteen years on this wretched planet of liers, cheaters & users lol.

So basically it was just one of the average, boy/girl problems. The male is indecisive, she's an addict to his "puppy love", which was shared unevenly between him, her, the baby momma & ex girlfriend, which is his first love. The boy is full of problems, basically damaging the girl's self-image, self-esteem, education even. Sigh, why do we even let it get that far?

Throughout the whole conversation, i kept saying to myself "Now who puts me in the position to even give love advice". I mean wasn't I the one who had a boyfriend, who was terrible bad for me, broke my heart...on Valentine's Day! Walked out my life for two years came back banging on my heart saying how sorry he was, the whole 9 yards, turned out nigga hasn't changed one bit but got even worst but with a lil pushing and shoving I got oh boy to slowly change. Took a couple arguements, breaths & tears but he's changed, well not quite there yet but it's looking good.

I did realize though that what put me in the position to tell this girl what to do was the fact that never...NEVER once did I let this boy come between what was most important to me, me, myself, my education, my self-image, my self-esteem. I control me, not no boy. So I let her know this. I said every boy is a new life lesson, this one will teach you self-reliance. Rely on your own damn self and hopefully she can teach that to him, leaving all his problems on this poor child. She's lost friends, she has poor grades, she stop taking care of herself, all for what "Love". Sigh, love hurts, but love does not destroy you. When it hits that stage where pain shows, the options are either the three C's compromise, change, or ciao "in otherwards bye bitch, it was nice knowing you" ::roll eyes::. If your my age, at any age even, you never have to settle, for pain, for heartache, for less. Its better to shed a couple lonely tears for the small period you're alone than a lifetime of tears because you settle for less. Okaii, okaii...good